Ursa Minor
by d.e.Miller
Summary: Flying bear.


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Disclaimer: Paramount owns Enterprise and its characters.  
  
Author: d.e.Miller © 2004  
  
Summary: Pretty much just a flying bear...  
  
Notes: This is a one-chapter, wandering experimental. :)  
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**Ursa Minor**  
  
Crewman Teague not only saw it first, she was the first to nearly get  
hit by it. She had ducked just in time to dodge the diminutive flying saucer   
as it raced haphazardly down the corridor on what probably was its maiden  
voyage.  
  
She later admitted that she had screamed and had almost called security,  
but she said the saucer had circled her a couple of times, finally giving her  
a good look at the "pilot."  
  
"It was so cute!" she said later, because that's what girls say about teddy  
bears.  
  
The saucer's mysterious creator had been thoughtful in his design ("his"   
being the general consensus). Roughly the size and shape of the bottom half  
of a bisected basketball, the silvery craft made a sort of sputtering noise as it  
flew. It also flashed a colorful assortment of lights and honked a surprisingly  
loud horn, but the show stopper was none other than the little brown bear   
himself.   
  
Wearing goggles and a tiny red flying scarf, the teddy sat high in his seat on   
the flat part of the dome. In his left paw was a fake joystick; in his right paw was  
a very real heart-shaped lollipop, which he held lance-like until he reached his  
target.   
  
Sara Smithson got the first one, followed by Deborah Ingles, followed by  
Rachel Steel, and so on, until half the women on Enterprise had lollies and the   
other half were waiting in anticipation.  
  
Louise Hermione, who happened to be fourth, named the little teddy bear  
"Woogie" because it reminded her of some cartoon character from childhood.  
  
The name stuck.  
  
Woogiebear's methods were straightforward even though his flight path   
wasn't. He would careen through the hallways like a drunken bumblebee until  
he found the quarters of the girl in question. Then, making as much noise as   
ursinly possible, he would repeatedly ram her door.  
  
As soon as she opened it, Woogiebear would brush past her, fly around  
the room a couple of times, then come to a floating stop right in front of her.   
He would then raise his right arm and present her with the lollipop, refusing to   
leave until she plucked it from his paw.  
  
Upon her acceptance, a bell rang, at which point he dipped his bow, turned,  
then rammed the door again until she let him out. Where he went after that was  
anybody's guess, save the quixotic Romeo himself.  
  
In fact, Woogiebear and his creator were such a mystery that Captain   
Archer was a little concerned at first. Fearing that this might be some sort of  
insidious alien plot, he went so far as to order Hoshi Sato to sacrifice a part  
of her lolli for analysis.   
  
Doctor Phlox soon confirmed that the confection was indeed alien in origin,  
as his spectral comparisons indicated with 99% certainty that the lollipop had  
originated on Telmara 3. This wasn't really going out on a limb, because a) they  
had just visited Telmara 3, and b) the wrapper had "Made in the Republic of  
Telmara" written on it.  
  
The chemical makeup wasn't much to be worried about either, although Phlox  
encouraged the women to brush their teeth afterwards, as the sugars could and  
would cause cavities.   
  
The captain was further reassured when a security monitor captured a detailed  
still of Woogiebear and his craft, the latter being confirmed as a packaging cap   
used to ship photon torpedoes.  
  
This news quickly spread, and a shadow of suspicion immediately fell upon the  
armory officer, but he coyly refused comment, leaving the finger-pointers to whisper  
at will. The next day, however, he was duly dismissed when Woogiebear shot past   
him and two female witnesses. As Woogie was obviously being flown by _someone,_  
Malcolm's name was quickly stricken from the list of probable suspects.  
  
The mystery still quite unsolved, the ship's science officer proffered her own   
theory. T'Pol speculated that, whoever the secret pilot was, logic dictated he _must_  
be mechanically inclined and probably even worked in engineering. She said as   
much to the chief engineer then carefully studied him for a tell.  
  
"Ya never know," Trip grinned, after which he coolly sauntered off.  
  
Unfortunately, he was eliminated as well the following afternoon while walking   
down the hall. He had been loudly beeped by the mischievous Woogiebear, and  
because Ensign Hermione had said that Trip had nearly jumped out of his blue  
jumpsuit, he was no longer considered a likely candidate.   
  
The mystery and the thrills continued on like this for a full week until all but  
apparently one female crewmember had received her lollipop. As they were  
dining in the mess hall, Hoshi Sato was having a flavor discussion with Lisa Teague,  
with Hoshi claiming cherry, and Lisa guessing orange, and T'Pol passing by them as  
they talked.   
  
"What flavor did you get, Sub-commander?" Hoshi chirped.  
  
"I have yet to be visited by 'Woogiebear'," T'Pol said flatly, and judging from  
her tone, most would think she could have cared less.   
  
The truth be known, however, she had spent a rough couple of evenings  
waiting for her lolli, twice checking the door when she thought she had heard   
something. Outwardly, T'Pol had feigned an impressive indifference towards   
her apparent exclusion, but she was noticeably lighter a few days on.  
  
"Am I to understand from your culture that 'purple' represents the flavor   
of the grape?" she asked Hoshi.  
  
(T'Pol knew full well.)  
  
Hers was indeed the last, though, delivered in the evening of the day of  
Saint Valentine: a violet heart with the name "Vino Bella" printed on its side.  
That was also the last time anyone ever officially saw Woogiebear: he had  
vanished with his mystery intact.  
  
He was not soon forgotten, however, finding his way into jokes and stories  
and letters home. Most comfortably though, he dwelled in the memories of that   
first Enterprise crew, some of which lasted more than a hundred years.  
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